Is my world changing

I remember September 11th. I sat in chock in front of the TV, trying to grasp what my eyes just saw.
Terror had until then nothing to do with my world. Even though I read more than once about attacks on buses in Israel. But that was far away from my world. It was nothing I had to fear.
New York was of course far away from me too. I lived in the north of Germany back than. But still it felt closer. The attacks were not just attacks on the US, but on the whole western world.
In the aftermath I thought the world would change. That this was just the beginning. That there will be more attacks. But there weren’t and the world didn’t change, at least not much and not for me.
It got more complicated to travel to the USA. Later we weren’t allowed to bring water on planes and we had to take our shoes off at security. But that didn’t stop me from flying. Not even to New York the following April.
Two wars erupted from those attacks. Changing the world for many people, for better or for worse. But my world stayed the same. I finished school and I started travelling.
But then Madrid happened and then London. I lived in Berlin at that point and suddenly I worried when I took the S- and U-Bahn. What if someone would blow up this train, while I’m sitting there. Those thoughts came to me, but not often, not every time. And it didn’t stop me from travelling with S- and U-Bahn. I still had to get around.
I also took the metro and trains in Copenhagen, when I moved there. Even though Denmark, home of the Mohammed-caricatures was more than once under threat of terrorism. Whenever I was standing in a filled metro during rush hour, I couldn’t help but thinking, that now it would be a good opportunity for terrorist to blow up this train. But I pushed those thoughts aside. And I stayed in the train.
And then last year happened. Two attacks in Paris in one year. The last one I witnessed life on TV, while watching the friendship game between France and Germany. The German sports reporter, overwhelmed by the change of the evening, were trying to keep us informed. One of the topics that got mentioned was the upcoming Europe Cup in France and the security issue. My reaction on that very same evening, while people died, was to check how to get tickets for this sports event. Fuck the terror, right?
But lately I don’t feel like ignoring the changes in „my“ world anymore. I always wanted to travel to Egypt and see the pyramids. But after the Russian plane exploded, I thought, maybe one day, but not now. I always wanted to travel to Istanbul and see the Hagia Sophia, but after 11 German tourists died there in an explosion, I thought, maybe one day, but not now.
I don’t have to travel with the metro anymore to get around, at least not often. But right now I would try not to travel during rush hour. And the Europe Cup? I think I will watch it at home in front of the TV. It’s just small things so far, but I can’t help feeling, that my world is changing.

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